Revolt of the Zombies (1936)

A lot of the reviews you'll read for this movie all agree on one point, it was a horrible movie.  I'm not going to spend a lot of time on that because I shouldn't waste any more space on the web detailing what made it so bad.  The Haleprin brothers, who directed White Zombie just 4 years before making Revolt, didn't have as talented a team to work with and that alone made it less entertaining.  I think it must have started off with a lot of potential and I can see it being remade for today's audience .

The Halperins took a lot of liberties in the zombie story considering their first movie stuck pretty closely to the Haitian Voodoo style.  We've got our next big step in zombie movie evolution here.  In Revolt, the lead character, Armand, finds out the ancient "Indo-Chinese" method of creating zombies (not Haitian at all).  This basically starts with a potion, a command and then he can turn whomever he likes into a zombie.  They don't even have to be near him, he just thinks about it, holds his hand to his forehead, Bela Lugosi's eyes flash on the screen, and you have a zombie (actually, the eyes were pretty creepy).  Armand ends up creating what seems to be hundreds of zombies which would be scary if they weren't all just standing around.  It goes on to explain that they will be used to achieve great things but they never get that far.  Once they're let out of the trance, they go after him for revenge.  It was very anti climatic.  I wanted to see scary zombies breaking the door down and ripping this evil sociopath to pieces (maybe not that would be really scary) but they seemed more interested in taking a coffee break to chit chat.

The movie itself was actually a love story and, strangely enough, I have an irrational fear of those as well. Though I definitely won't be watching every chick flick ever made in chronological order any time soon.  Being forced to live on a zombie farm, awaiting my turn to become zombie food is one thing, but watching a montage of Kate Hudson picking out wedding dresses may push me over the edge for good.

Zombie movies these days may have the social commentary but for the most part, they are about a group of people trying not to be eaten.  They don't often stray from that simple idea.  Back in the 30's the zombies all seem to be a secondary piece of the overall story.  White Zombie was about a guy trying to steal another guy's wife, The Ghoul is about a guy trying to steal a dead guy's jewel, and Revolt is about a guy trying to steal another guy's girlfriend.  These movies are about thieves!  Seriously, though, with so many other new and  interesting monster types to compete with in the 30's it would have been a difficult task to make zombies interesting.  They've always represented something else, some other social problem, and Hollywood just hadn't gotten the handle of the zombie just then. I'm glad Romero finally showed up to tell those guys how its done.

I may regret saying this later but I'm looking forward to watching scarier zombie movies. I thought the classics would be scarier based on my traumatizing experience with Night of the Living Dead  in a basement over 20 years ago.  They're likely to get a lot better in a few weeks after moving past the awful 30's, comedic horror 40s and the paranoia of the 50s. We'll see...I'm going to go make deviled eggs now...

Stats for Revolt of The Zombies...
Style of zombie: we'll call it classic although it wasn't Haitian Voodoo
Threat to humans: only when commanded
Dead or alive: alive
How they become zombies: hypnosis
Other:
How to kill them: any way a human can be killed

The Ghoul (1933)

As we get further along in this process and the movies start showing zombies attacking humans for food and when they're able to take over the entire world, I think I'll start getting more scared.  Probably because this makes it possible for them to show up at my front door.  If some guy, somewhere across an ocean has zombies in the basement doing dishes or if its just one zombie that can't spread a disease, then they're not really a threat to me, thus not really scary. 

This ended up being the case in The Ghoul.  It was the least scary zombie movie I've seen so far.  I'm really not sure if it can even be considered a zombie movie but it was listed on the web as a zombie movie so I had to watch it. The scenery is always dark which lends to the eerie mood as Boris Karloff's character, a rich old professor, comes back to life. Hes lucid though he can't talk and is only concerned with the other characters if they have his prized Egyptian jewel which switches from person to person about ten times throughout the movie.  

The first half, mostly filler, included a lot of overacting.  There were alternating scenes with too much dialogue to explain what was happening and scenes made entirely of what seemed like interpretive dances.  I think it could have used more balance in the dialogue.  Although, at times, some very blunt dialogue was pretty funny.  A train station attendant loudly blurts out "the moon is full!"...really?...I can see its full...but thanks for making dually sure I knew it...I wonder how much you got paid to recite that line...

I did enjoy watching Dorothy Hyson play Betty, the sometimes helpless girl, sometimes powerful heroine who is given the opportunity to execute the quintessential horror movie scream.  She reminded me of Audrey Horn, one of my all time favorite characters from Twin Peaks, whatever happened to her?  Betty's friend Kaney, by contrast, was almost constantly in a state of terror.  I was surprised to see her take a slap in the face by a man and I almost shut the movie off but wanted to see what happened to the dead guy. 

What I really didn't like about this film, is the lack of closure.  The clan splits up mid-movie to either chase after the dead guy, run away from the dead guy, chase after a jewel, or run away with the jewel. I know a lot of old movies are notorious for quickly closing up the story in the last 30 seconds but this movie didn't even bother.  We were left to wonder what happened for three sub stories, while the main story ended with an explosion and a silly joke.  It could have used another 5-10 minutes to bring everybody back together and give it a clean closing.

As for the scariness, it definitely doesn't invoke the same reaction as when I watch The Walking Dead, the AMC show about a band of survivors getting by after zombies have taken over the world  (awesome show by the way).  When that show is on, I'm only able to watch the top 2 inches of the screen because I'm hidden behind a pillow.  Also involved, is a lot of frantic running around the room, screaming at the tv "GET THE H AWAY FROM THERE, HERE COME THE ZOMBIES!".  So, I wouldn't recommend watching The Ghoul even though its not very long and you can watch it for free online.  Maybe if you're having a classic, bad movie night in which case I highly recommend it.

Stats for The Ghoul...
Style of zombie: not really a zombie...hes a ghoul/ghost
Threat to humans: not unless you have his jewel
Dead or alive: dead
How they become zombies: Egyptian curse
Other: he was pretty creepy due to a pre-death skin condition
How to kill them: any way a human can be killed

White Zombie (1932)

Diving into a new project can be daunting and this is going to be a big undertaking but I think its off to a great start. I remember having to watch 13 Ghosts in pieces because I was too scared to watch it all at once.  I do this a lot with horror films.  However, this was not one of those movies.  White Zombie was comparable to a Simpson's halloween episode but for me this means I have to look away from the tv when the story starts to get intense (its a phobia...don't judge).  This is the first in a line of over 300 zombie movies so I don't mind if we don't jump right into the frightening stuff. 

The movie itself was fairly entertaining. The zombies were the classic voodoo slaves brought back to life by Bela Lugosi's character, Murder Legendre.  The story is set in Haiti and the style of zombie is based on the Haitian myth zombies.  Most of the zombies through the 50's were based on Haitian myth until space travel changed them forever; more on that when we get to Plan 9 from Outer Space, another of Bela Lugosi's classics.  There is one scene where the zombies become violent but this is because they are commanded to do so.  Most of the time they just stand around with wide eyes looking very creepy in black and white.

What makes this movie relevant to its time?  Victor Halperin, the director, may have read William Seabrook's 1929 book "Magic Island" which was based on his travels to Haiti and experiences with voodoo. He may have had an interest in making a horror film about the same subject because horror films were a huge hit at the time.  This movie didn't take long to film and reused the set and props from the original "Dracula" and "Frankenstein" which had both recently been made.  Maybe he just wanted to get his feet wet in the horror genre.  Whatever the reason, and even though the movie didn't end up being a hit, I say thank you Mr. Halperin for starting it all!  I look forward to watching the sequel in a couple of weeks.

So far so good, I know there are a lot of really BAD movies to get through before moving on to Night of the Living Dead, eat your brains, zombies but stick with me, it'll be a lot of fun.

Stats for White Zombie...
Style of zombie: voodoo servant
Threat to humans: no, only when commanded to be violent
Dead or alive: dead
How they become zombies: voodoo spells awaken dead bodies
Other: they're able to be turned back into humans if their souls return to them
How to kill them: this can only be done by the voodoo master or if the voodoo master dies